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The Three Week Challenge by Erica Brown
Posted By Erica Brown On July 12, 2011 @ 9:17 pm In New Posts | 7 Comments
There are certain features of an Orthodox life that you don’t expect non-Orthodox people to know or observe. If you’ve never heard of cholent, you’re not likely to encounter it on a cable food program any time soon. If you haven’t heard of the prohibition of tearing toilet paper on Shabbat or the intricacies of kashrut and rabbinic supervision, you’re not likely to encounter them in everyday conversation. And even if you have slightly more than the average Hebrew school education, chances are good that you have never heard of the Three Weeks.
Some mitzvot and customs have made a surprising début in the non-Orthodox community. It’s startling to read a responsum asking if one can build a sukkah on Shabbat because we once assumed that the only people who build sukkot are Sabbath observant. Not any more. The mikveh – once regarded as a relic of a blood taboo culture and deemed anti-feminist – has made a remarkable come-back among the non-Orthodox. Tashlikh is another one of those Jewish surprises that has been gaining traction for years now.
What chance do we have that the Three Weeks will ever invite that kind of notice? Not much chance, it seems. Firstly, the Three Weeks takes place not at the beginning of the school/Jewish holiday year but in the thick of summer when few are in an educational or disciplined spiritual structure to have a serious conversation on loss. Kinot do not make for great beach reading. Secondly, recalling Temple customs and their obliteration is not high on the usual list of affirming and meaningful rituals for moderns. It’s not hard to make the case for the joy of Sukkot, the transformative powers of water immersion or the easy wipe-the-slate clean-in-a -few minutes ease of Tashlikh.
Lastly and most significantly, Tisha B’Av and its surrounding rituals is not winning any popularity contest in the non-Orthodox competition for meaning because we have created a modern, history-free Judaism where what reigns is largely what is compelling of the moment. The present is all consuming. The past is instantly forgettable. In this kind of culture – where at best there is benign neglect of history that is anything past the Holocaust in date – it is near impossible to bring people into the landscape of loss that is the Three Weeks.
What does this mean for Orthodox people who do observe this mourning period? Honestly, we are not doing a good enough PR job. Unlike other rituals or holidays that we proudly speak about to others, we are often hesitant to talk about the Three Weeks to office mates and colleagues. It doesn’t seem relevant. Maybe we don’t have the language ourselves. Maybe we fiddle with turning the radio on or off and silently confess that it may just not be meaningful enough to us to share it with others. We can’t make a really compelling case.
And yet we’ve made that case successfully with other rituals that have brought depth and meaning to people who aren’t traditionally observant. Why stop when it comes to the Three Weeks? Don’t we all know – observant or not – the price Jews have paid in history for our spiritual commitments? Isn’t that worth a thought or two and a pause on the calendar year?
Of course, mourning is hard, especially for a building we’ve never been inside. But just watch any “secular” Israeli or tourist at the Kotel. It is not only religious people who know how to cry. It is not only people who keep halakha who understand what loss means. Mourning puts us in the framework of redemption and helps us appreciate what it means to have a collective spiritual center and a different kind of relationship with God. If we don’t have the monopoly on those sentiments then let us not have a monopoly on the knowledge that leads to observance. When it comes to the Three Weeks, we must not only be mourners. We must all become educators.
Dr. Erica Brown is the scholar-in-residence at the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington. Her latest book is In the Narrow Places: Daily Inspiration for the Three Weeks [1] (OU/Maggid).
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[1] In the Narrow Places: Daily Inspiration for the Three Weeks: http://www.korenpub.com/EN/products/maggid/maggid/9781592643400
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7 Comments To "The Three Week Challenge by Erica Brown"
#1 Comment By Lisa On July 20, 2011 @ 8:07 am
Thank you very much for the article. I just wanted to note, about the following:
‘There are certain features of an Orthodox life that you don’t expect non-Orthodox people to know or observe. If you’ve never heard of cholent, you’re not likely to encounter it on a cable food program any time soon. If you haven’t heard of the prohibition of tearing toilet paper on Shabbat or the intricacies of kashrut and rabbinic supervision, you’re not likely to encounter them in everyday conversation. And even if you have slightly more than the average Hebrew school education, chances are good that you have never heard of the Three Weeks.’
There are, however, many Conservative Jews (and others) who do make cholent, avoid tearing toilet paper on shabbat, delve into the issue of which hechshers are acceptable, and much more – and they haven’t started observing these mitzvot merely as part of a recent trend. Obviously, observance is much higher in the Orthodox community – but I do think it’s important not to use ‘Orthodox’ and ‘observant’ interchangeably. Best of luck with your efforts to help all kinds of Jews see the Three Weeks as meaningful!
#2 Comment By Eric On July 20, 2011 @ 11:56 am
The comment from Lisa is right on. I would expect Dr. Brown to know that there are lots of traditionally observant Jews who are not Orthodox.
#3 Comment By Hilary On July 20, 2011 @ 3:51 pm
I resent the assumption that a ‘modern jew’ ( what ever that means!) does not know what loss is, or the implication that a non orthodox Jew has no regard or interest in observing the three weeks. Not that its any of my business, but I wonder what the religious orientation of the writer is. I only wonder so I can better appreciate the point of view. See, I am someone who used to consider myself ‘orthodox’ and then I had an awakening. I am not setting myself a part from my Jewish brothers and sisters, we are in it together for the long haul— orthodox or not. We ( my family) chooses to remember our losses in these three weeks in a deeply personal way, and by reaching out to others who are downtrodden. That is our way. We do not recite kinot every day, it is not always possible. But rest assured, our lives are no ‘party’ every single day. There is much to be miserable about, if one looks. But i would like to think that this is not an empty misery or sorrow, as we are never alone within it. That is the message I want to carry away from the three week period.
#4 Comment By d On July 20, 2011 @ 4:22 pm
Personally, there is a limit to how many times I can read about mothers eating babies. Kinot are poems written in the Middle Ages, meaning that they came onto the scene way too late in the game to count as canonical in my book.
I also want to second the above commenters in protesting against the idea that there are only two kinds of Jews– Orthodox and Modern. For both terms encompass a large spectrum of people, and many are not covered by either.
#5 Comment By Michael On July 22, 2011 @ 10:33 am
The theme of loss is indeed something to ponder. What Ms. Brown does not mention are various customs surrounding the Three Weeks that make it hard to take seriously, namely, the notion that this period is a period of bad luck. Thus, new projects and renovations in the home which have not yet begun prior to the Three Weeks, and are not for maintenance purposes or to prevent a loss, should be postponed until Tisha B’Av, and people should not travel (unless for business), etc. How can that not be heard as superstition to the modern ear?
#6 Comment By SBK On July 27, 2012 @ 10:16 am
While I agree that it is too easy to assume that non-Orthodox equals non-observant,I don’t think that is quite what Erica Brown says here. To my eye, she is emphasizing that very point in her first two paragraphs and saying that this assumption is confounded by the fact of observance among non-Orthodox Jews.
Moreover, she writes, “WE have created a modern, history-free, Judaism”, including all of us and herself among those who are discomfited by the appearance of the Three Weeks every year like an aged aunt in mourning for a long-dead relative whom none of us remembers or feels anything for.
As for Michael’s references to the “superstition” of not embarking on new projects during this period, certainly the classical authorities do speak of this period as one of ill fortune. But really what is happening here to my mind is that we are told that this is not a time for optimism and hopefulness, the natural accompaniments of new beginnings. Of course, we feel what we feel but why deliberately seek out something that will mask our grief? This is a time for thinking of loss and its meaning.
#7 Comment By Yisrael K On December 15, 2012 @ 9:15 pm
The mikveh may have made a comeback but has abstinence during niddah and harkachos? Seems to me that the mitzvos taken on by the non-Orthodox tend to be in the realm of meaning via pleasure. Taking a dip once a month in a hot tub is not exactly difficult, nor is Sukkah. Both are positive and happy adventures. The three weeks is a whole different category. It’s dark and gloomy.